The light is just out of reach.
on the wall,
in the sky,
always some other where than where I am-
just out of reach.
Crying in the well.
Last night Carolyn, Marilyn, Dominique and I stayed up late, got loaded, and planned the conquest of the world.
We were in the city. We went to LES ROUGE for dinner. By the time we finished it was almost 2 AM. We were very high on champagne and brandy. The long drive back to Marin County didn’t appeal to any of us. We booked the big suite at the ST. FRANCIS with the great balcony view of Union Square, took a long hot sauna and then, in the Jacuzzi, we got blitzed on mushrooms.
It was just another normal night.
Thanks to Carolyn, who taped everything, I have proof that it was productive. We discussed possible options for future growth, in our usual manner.
"Listen Carolyn,” I mumbled. “Our expansion needs to be controlled. I don't want us overwhelmed with such a bureaucracy that we can't find the lever that controls the machine.”
"I agree, King. Controlled expansion is a major concern. We need to grow but we need to stay intimate. In order to do both somebody has to supervise everything. That’s my job." Her voice echoed.
"Yes," Dominique sighed. She sounded very stoned. "I want to know exactly who and what I am dealing with. I do not plan to wake up one morning and not know who to call to get some strange bitch out of my bed."
"What a concept. I’m glad you’ve got your priorities straight Dominique. That’s what is so beautiful about the plan I've got in mind."
"If you consider the type of people we are do you think it is possible, Carolyn?" Dominique asked.
"Yes, I do, but we have to stay on top of it constantly."
"Wait a minute!” I yelled. “What do you mean WE Kemo Sabe? Don't bother me with that crap. I'm too pushed as it is."
"Poor baby, your life has become so difficult."
"Well, it has! Don't lay a fucking guilt trip on me, Carolyn! I have NO plans to get involved in shit work. That's not my job description."
"Sure King, you just want to be in the spot-light and fuck all the groupies. What a star trip!"
"Fuck you Carolyn!"
I splashed her. That started a water fight that finally ended when I broke a champagne bottle and, apparently, scattered glass everywhere. Carolyn, as usual, took control and had maintenance clean up the mess and bring us a new bottle.
"Where was I before I got interrupted?"
"You bitched that you didn't want to work."
"Yes King, as usual we whore while you enjoy the fruits of our work."
"Bullshit Dominique! Pimps work! What is it with you?"
"Well, was that not that your complaint?”
"Right! Wasn't it you that said that I ‘needed to present an ideal to aspire to’. Do you think anybody wants to work? Isn't that what you said? Come on, come on, the clock is ticking!"
"Yah, Yah.” Carolyn responded. “But she didn't mean that you didn't have to do anything."
"You think that what I do is nothing? Tell her Dominique! Who created all this. Why, when I first met Dominique she was a l6 year old whore. Now look at her."
"Oh, thank you my love, for putting me in my place."
"Oh Dominique, give me a break. You know what I mean. Did either of us dream that what we were doing would turn into this? My God, we're almost a FORTUNE 500 company."
"Yes,” Carolyn answered. “Things are only going to get more complicated, for all of us, not just for you. That’s why my idea is a good one."
"O.K. Carolyn, I get the picture. It's a good idea. What should we call it?"
“Thank you. That’s what I’ve been wondering. THE OFFICE is what came to mind but that seems so...”
“Bland? Boring? You’re a good manager but creative you’re not.”
“Thank you Mr. Man. Do you have any ‘creative’ ideas or should I go directly to the whipping post?”
There was a long pause that sounded lot like we all had a bad case of sniffles. Finally I said, “We could always call it Earl.”
“Oh God King! Dominique's muffled voice replied.
Carolyn laughed. “What a job. Here we are, the top executives of a hot, fast track startup, stoned in a hot tub discussing strategy while the CEO gives the chairman a blow job.”
“Well what do you expect from a whore?”
“Shut up King. She might bite it off.”
“Oh God! Quick! Back to work! Hay! I have an idea Carolyn. You’re the little mother around here. Why don’t we call it MOTHER in your honor?”
“Not bad King. What do you think Dominique?”
“I hated my mother.” She muttered.
“Well, that’s too bad.” I said. “Two to one, you’re out voted. MOTHER it is.”
At that point there was a lot of noise. It turned out to be Marilyn.
"Hay! What’s going on?” She said. “This place is a mess. What did I do, miss all the fun?”
“No, there’s still more fun. There’s a big pile of it on that plate. Then you can come in here with us and tickle my fancy.” I said. “Here, have some mushrooms.”
“Ohhh.” She said, “Kinky I like.”
When she jumped in the tub, she made a big splash.
“Can we talk about business now?” Marilyn asked.” She sounded like she was ready to fall asleep.
“What did you have in mind?” I said.
“Instead of having everything go through MOTHER, I think some of the activities should be managed by a separate department, otherwise it's too much of a bottle neck."
"What do you mean."
"I mean there's a difference between internal and outside business. The two need to be kept separate otherwise too much power gets trapped in a few hands. What I was thinking is that the command group, MOTHER, can take care of all the outside business and over-view management. The other stuff, like ordering dinner, sex, drugs, a limo, a new house, money for this or that- whatever anybody wants- could be handled by a sub group. We could call it...oh...I don't know, what could we call it?"
"Why don't you call it...”
“Please King, not Earl again.” Dominique said.
“SATISFACTION.” I said.
"Hay, that's great!” Marilyn said. “Think about it. Wouldn’t it be nice to have one number to call whenever you want something?”
“You mean like a pizza or a new Mercedes? The important things none of us can do without." I asked.
She laughed. “Yah, that’s what I mean. We could call SATISFACTION anytime, anywhere, for anything.”
“The slogan could be 'WE DELIVER.'" I said.
"Oh God King!" Dominique groaned.
"Don't knock it" Carolyn said. “I would be lost without my phone. It's better than sex."
"Oh God! Carolyn's doing it with her portable phone!"
"Fuck you King!"
“You can’t. Your phone might get jealous.”
That one cracked everybody up. We were on a roll.
"Who should manage this...SATISFACTION®?" Dominique asked.
“I was thinking I should.” Marilyn said. “After all, it is a kind of PR, right? Maybe we can offer it to the clients someday. MOTHER® could handle all their responsibilities and SATISFACTION® could get them anything they want.”
“Yah,” I said. “We would be the shepherds and they would be the sheep.”
“I would prefer to be the wolf.” Dominique said.
“Yah right” Marilyn quipped. “And I’ll be little Red Riding Hood.”
Everybody laughed. Then there was